I Didn’t Like Who I Was Drunk
But I’m not sure who I am, sober.
Being an alcoholic is time consuming, and it especially was for me. I didn’t need to figure out how to occupy my time, alcohol decided everything for me. Waking up meant deciding how early was too early to start drinking. In the worst of it, it made sense for me to start drinking as early as possible so that I could recover for the next day. Every hour of my days were spent thinking of alcohol and planning where and when to get my next drink. In a way, everything was easy when I just let alcohol control my life. It made dating easier, too. If I was nervous, or having a bad time, I could just get a couple of drinks to make the time pass by faster.
Going through sobriety is hard, and it’s something that I’ve put all my effort into in the past few years. While I had been sober for a few years, I relapsed a couple of years ago after a breakup and it’s been all I can do to get back to a sense of stability.
They say the worst part of being a sober person is keeping yourself away from alcohol at all cost, and I won’t say that it’s not hard. You have to find ways to distract yourself away from the urge to stop at the store for beer, or pop into a liquor store for a handle of vodka. The days become a endless string of just seeing the single day through, sober. Alcohol still decided how I’d spend my day, even if I…
