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I Swear This Time I’ll be Sober
At this point, it’s a life or death situation
This isn’t my first rodeo with sobriety. In fact, if you’ve read anything I’ve written here, I was sober for a long time, about four years. Then a break up happened, then I moved places, then the world kind of went to shit. All of the combined became too much and I started drinking again. I’m not excusing myself in any way, it just happened and I knew I was ready to quit again. However, my support circle was non-existent, and becoming sober became something I needed to do on my own as I didn’t have a boyfriend who I was doing it for this time. But I hadn’t realized how hard it would be to quit drinking just for myself. Going sober became a bunch of starts that always ended after a few days, sometimes a week or so.
And something recently has changed in my drinking habits. I started drinking earlier in the day and I couldn’t do anything social without having a little bit of alcohol in me. It became something I needed and I started to need a lot more to feel anything. It was sending me into a spiral of drinking and then being too hungover to do anything but drink more to try to get rid of the feelings. I saw the future ahead of me and I knew it wasn’t ending well.
I realize now that if I don’t go sober, things won’t be so good for me. I can’t imagine my health is at its peak and I’m too afraid to…
