My Biggest Fear With Bi-Polar Disorder

Did I make the biggest mistake of my life?

Photo by Dev Asangbam on Unsplash

Since getting diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder about two to three years ago, it’s been a roller coaster of finding the right medications and therapy to get me to a stable point in my life. And it’s caused me to reflect on the major decisions I’ve made in my life like completely uprooting my life and moving to another state- not only once but twice-, and how I handled relationships.

There’s a lot of regret, if I had stayed in one place would I have been more stable? Would I have been further in my career and even had graduated from a University? It can be easy to fall into patterns of regretting and feeling down but I’ve learned to move past it and take gratitude in my current life.

Except for one decision.

I broke up with my long term relationship

So let’s get into it, shall we? I had a relationship that lasted almost 6 years and to be honest, I was madly in love with this person. I saw a future in our relationship and we had made it through a lot. From me going sober, to finding out I had Bipolar Disorder, to us both dealing with depression. I felt like I had found my person.

It’s now been a year and a half and since we broke up and unfortunately, I’m still in love with this person.