Everything started to finally make sense.
The year 2021 could also be known as “That time I went to a Psychiatrist for ADHD but left with a Bipolar Disorder Diagnosis” but that doesn’t quite roll off the tongue does it?
After a year of relating a little too hard to ADHD memes on the internet and wondering, is this not how everyone thinks? I finally decided to reach out to a Psychiatrist to get tested or at the very least, start a conversation on me having ADHD. When I found one, we started talking, and soon, he started going deeper into a line of questioning that I realized wasn’t about ADHD at all.
It came as a surprise when the psychiatrist suggested the possibility of Bipolar Disorder but honestly, it wasn’t the first time a doctor had brought it up so it shouldn’t have been.
But it took 9 years to get to this point. I’m laying out this timeline only because if you’re like me, and this might be a possibility, it took my mental health from being something I struggled to manage at times, to being manageable and gave me hope.
Note: There is talk of suicidal ideation, so consider this your warning.
The Depression Medication Roller coaster
I’ve always known I’ve had depression, I just never had the funds nor the time to seek help for it.
In 2012, I didn’t have the funds for an actual Psychiatrist, so I started going to a clinic. The clinic’s methods weren’t bad but they weren’t great. You filled out a questionnaire and they’d ask you a few questions directly afterwards. I was diagnosed with a severe case of depression and was given Zoloft.
Zoloft worked, until I realized it wasn’t.
And that’s when I started what I’ve lovingly called the depression medication roller coaster. Zoloft may have been the first medication I tried, but it wasn’t the last.
My first medication induced mania
At the time I didn’t realize this was mania but now that I look back, it was. And it was intense.
Zoloft took about 3–4 weeks to officially start working and when it did, I loved it. I stopped needing midday naps and it felt…