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What Changes After 9 Months of Sobriety
Why the ninth month was the hardest.
Anyone can tell you sobriety is something you have to take day by day. Even though you want your milestones to mean that you’re free from alcohol’s grip, it’s not the case. Each month uncovered a new struggle but there were some consistent themes. 1 month, 3 months, and even 6 months were all figuring out how to be social without drinking. It was learning how to deal with cravings for alcohol while also trying to change your entire way of living. It was tough but it was rewarding.
There were a lot of benefits during this time, too. Exercise was more consistent, my mood was elevated, and things were coming up for me. I a lot of happy moments in my first sixth months that felt like they were paving the way to a better future. I was the embodiment of “new year, new me”.
The elephant in the room became a diva
It was easy to forget that I drank for a reason, and the reason wasn’t good at all.
Then the elephant in the room presented itself to me. All of the trauma in my past had been getting pushed down by alcohol for most of my life. The distraction of sobriety and learning to be social again had kept it away too but it was rushing back. It wanted to be addressed and it wouldn’t take no for an answer.
It’s a funny thing, your brain. I had good memories of certain people or events that I’m remembering weren’t actually that great. Having been a “daddy’s girl” as I grew up, I always associated him with being this god-like figure that I could depend on. Now, I’m getting flashbacks that make it obvious to me that he wasn’t such a great guy after all. Neglectful and an alcoholic, there were times I went without basic necessities because he would take us to the grocery store to buy alcohol instead of food or school supplies.
Having contradictory memories is painful. As a child, I didn’t know any better, and as an adult, I had kept it tucked away in the back of my mind.
Therapy helps you get outside of your own head
At this point, I needed someone to help me get through this tidal wave of repressed memories. I definitely recommend getting a therapist way before 9 months so…
