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What It Feels Like to Be The Sober One At a Party

It’s not as bad as you would think.

Kelly Tompkins
4 min readNov 5, 2020

What are parties like? Will I even have fun? Will I even be fun?

When I first went sober, I didn’t think I could go to a party, much less have fun at one. It felt like I was closing off social gatherings for the rest of my life both from my own doing and just the fact that I wouldn’t be invited anywhere. And I did avoid parties and social gatherings when I first went sober which helped me, but it further pushed this idea that I would never be able to be social again.

But like all things that stem from anxiety, I did end up going to a party and realized that all of those thoughts weren’t true at all. Things did change but for this introvert, it felt like it was for the better. These may not happen to you, but they have been things that have consistently come up for me when I go to social gatherings.

You will care if there’s going to be food

When before my thoughts were all about how to get wasted the fastest, now it was all about one thing-food. Pre-gaming was now asking the host if there was going to be food, and if I should bring some. Instead of standing off to the side and drinking until I was less anxious, you could definitely find me next to the food snacking until I…

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Kelly Tompkins
Kelly Tompkins

Written by Kelly Tompkins

Austin,Texas sober girl. Lover of horror movies, cats, and fitness. Occasional bad poet.

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