When Will I Stop Grieving My Relationship?

Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

I still love my ex-boyfriend. There, I said it. Even after everything has been said and done, two years later I still care for him.

I’ve always expressed myself through writing, and it’s always been how I work through my emotions and better understand myself. Recently, I wrote something, something that I intended on being part of a bigger project- possibly even a book that I’ve been writing. It was about missing someone and I wrote about how you don’t spend every waking minute missing that person, but in the gaps through your life.

I wrote about missing someone when you’re standing in line at the grocery store, or when you’re at a red light. When you get ready for bed at night, and you’re brushing your teeth and you look at your single toothbrush. All of the little moments that added up. I couldn’t stop writing about it, and all of the times throughout my life that I missed someone. When I shared it, I was told that it read like I was still grieving. And only one person came to mind.

That realization hit me so hard, I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. Could I be grieving for someone that was still alive? I intended on this story being fictional, and something I was using for the book I was writing but the parallels could be seen between this story and my past relationship. I think what hits the hardest is that I didn’t…