Will I Ever Be Able to Go Into a Bar?

After almost 4 years, it really depends.

Photo by Michał Mancewicz on Unsplash

I was tested a couple of weekends ago.

Here I was waiting to meet a new friend so while I waited for them, I walked up and down the strip. Walking past bar after bar, I could smell the stale beer, the old liquor, and just how damp some of these bars were.

Dive bars were something I would frequent when I was drinking, the drinks were cheap and it was easy to get drunk quickly. You could tell by the way it smelled, whether a place would be an efficient place to get drunk at.

I hadn’t been to a dive bar in 4 years, and even though it was such a stagnant scent, I was starting to crave a beer.

I could have easily lied

I realized something as I waited. If they wanted to go to a bar, even a sports bar with food, I could not step foot into any of these without having to fight temptation.

And since this was a new person, I could easily slip into drinking without them even knowing that I was sober for years before this. We had only established beforehand that we both didn’t like to drink, I never talked about how bad alcohol had been for me in the past. I wouldn’t feel like I was disappointing them in any way if I were to have just one drink.